Putrajaya strain brings forth Aussies’ Strein
Alice Wonder

The Prime Minister got unexpectedly high marks for his extemporised Australian accent at the end of the recent Umno shindig. I didn't hear the good doctor's 'the rine in Spine fell minely on the pline’, but some friends who did said it was not bad.

The Australian Broadcasting Commission (ABC) liked it so much that it was played several times. The word from Canberra is Australian Prime Minister John Howard is not working on his Malaysian accent to retaliate in kind.

A quick ‘rain in Spain-lah fell mainly on the plain-lah’ in the Malaysian accent would be relatively simple for Mr Howard.

The good doctor should not be casting stones, as the Malaysian accent is distinctive and easy to mimic. Certainly, it is as distinctive as Australian Chinese speaking Strein, the Australian version of English.

So far, the best retaliation has been a letter to a leading Australia newspaper, with the headline 'Mahathir Feels the Strain', a reference to the growing criticism of his government overseas.

Many Australians, growing tired of the Malaysian leader's harangues against foreigners, believe that the Prime Minister's attacks on Australia are too one-sided, and it is about time that Australia replied in kind. Of course, no one is suggesting sending in the gunboats just yet.

A few mild jokes at the good doctor's expense would do. Where to start? Well, I'm reluctant to make any suggestions, as I don't want to be sent home just yet. His choice of shirts could be a start.

Perhaps, malaysiakini could start a reader's competition - the best ten jokes about the good doctor. Answers on a postcard and the prize will be a free weekend of internment with the reformasi activists.

The cheek of it

Before his rendition of Strein, the Prime Minister attacked Australia for neglecting the rights of the Aboriginal community. His Australian accent is the latest of a long line of attacks stemming from former Prime Minister Paul Keating's remarks of the Malaysian leader being ‘recalcitrant’ in his initial reluctance to embrace Apec.

Certainly, the British media's response to a la-dee-da British accent would have been interesting. The Fleet Street tabloids would have had the foot-in-the-door brigade roaming the streets looking for revenge.

There certainly would not have been any shortage of stories. A quick flick through of The Malay Mail, the Malaysian equivalent of The Sun, would have had tabloid journalists salivating: drugged sex slaves and a ritual cult killing of an American bizarrely linked to coming up with numbers of the lotteries to name a few possible leads.

The Australian Government, in terms of the overall interests of the bilateral relationship, probably wisely chose to turn the other cheek. It is unfortunate that Malaysia's relationship with Australia has been trivialised in such a manner.

Without any context, Australians could be misled into thinking that most Malaysians share Dr Mahathir's disparaging views of Australia. They would be wrong. Most Malaysians tend to view the West and Australia in particular in a very positive light, with booming cultural, educational and trade links.

Billions in trade

The Chinese Australians the Prime Minister mocked are among the backbone of the South-East Asian community in Australia. There are around 90,000 Australians of Malaysian extraction, the third largest ethnic grouping behind Vietnam and the Philippines.

There are around 10,000 Malaysians studying in Australia's colleges and universities, by far the largest ethic grouping, accounting for around 35 per cent of foreign students. Singapore and Indonesia are next with 7,400 students and 6,200 respectively.

After a falling off during the economic crisis, the number of Malaysians studying in Australia continues to grow due to a weak Australian dollar. Australia is very popular among budding Malaysian lawyers for picking up a law degree and then returning home to practice.

Australia is still a very popular tourism destination among Malaysians of all ethnic backgrounds. National flag carrier Malaysian Airlines operates more flights to Australia than any other global destination.

Two-way trade has grown 40 per cent in the last two years to total around A$8.3 billion. Australia has more than 250 companies based in Malaysia, far more than in Singapore and Thailand. While there has been a drop in Australian investment in Malaysia, reflecting a regional trend, it continues to be the favoured base to gain a foothold in South-East Asia.

Several Australian companies have recently relocated from Singapore to take advantage of cheaper operating costs in Malaysia.

Limited patience

Australian food exports have done particularly well in Malaysia, where Aussie beef, cheese, biscuits and fruit juices dominate the shelves of supermarkets. Australian companies have taken a dominant role in many of Malaysia's large infrastructure projects, particularly railway projects.

An increasing number of Malaysian companies are hiring Australian managers to help with restructuring. There is a very large Australian expatriate community in Malaysia. They seem to be everywhere - there are dozens at the Tivoli.

With the Prime Minister continuing to feel the strain, and likely to become more outspoken, Australian diplomats would do well to brush up on their Malaysian accents, as Australians will have limited patience in being the butt off the Prime Minister's jokes.

  ALICE WONDER is the pseudonym of a leading Australian newspaper’s senior correspondent based in Malaysia who has 25 years experience as a journalist, 18 of them in Asia.